paranoia and fatalism, which one is legit?

I am currently high on Caffeine, sugar, and ADD meds. this was not intentional, as I did not realize NESCAFE (the popular coffee substitute) contains significant levels of caffeine. or maybe it is hitting me hard because I have taken 3 packages, 2 tea bags, ADD meds that should NOT be taken with caffeine and many focussed hours trying to format a report. Anyway, somewhere between my 8th or 9th lump of sugar I realized that I am a walking safety contradiction.

last week I was feeling a bit under the weather and decided it was probably Malaria. Maybe it was a result of all my Ghanaian friends getting it, or that tons of JFs have gotten it while taking prophylaxis and I have been bitten by way too many mosquitoes in the past few weeks or maybe I just like the pain of the prick and the anticipation of the results. whatever the reason I found myself taking the “at home” malaria test.

a very negative test. and by negative I mean positive? I now understand Michael Scott’s confusion in the episode where everything thinks Kevin might have skin cancer and then he doesn’t


the test, a band-aid, and drugs in case the result is positive


so as the 1 line reveals in the 2nd picture, I do not have Malaria. Now the thing is I suspected this would be the result. My symptoms didn’t really match up, the only real symptoms were a stuffy nose, headache, and general exhaustion. My neighbours helpfully pointed out that I was getting sick because I had stopped exercising. I informed them that I had stopped because I felt sick. they nodded wisely and proceeded to point out that I had “increased” since coming to Ghana. I moaned at this news, fearing the truth of it. Paulina then suggested I start exercising again if I didn’t like it. I went into my room with a huff. I wasn’t getting the sympathy I needed.

so why did I take the test if I suspected it would be negative? better safe than sorry I guess. so why do I forget to wear a seat belt when I am in a Taxi? why do I drink water that may or may not be safe? why do I forget to take my prophylaxis and spray with bug repellent? why does this “better safe than sorry” not translate to other aspects of life?

am I developing the rampant fatalism than surges through the very essence of this culture? the fatalism that allows drivers to drive without rear view mirrors, moto operators to cruise at night with no lights, and pedestrians to walk oblivious to everything until a giant truck honks its horn as it barrels down the dirt road, the same truck that will soon be overturned in a ditch.

Why do I avoid yoga moves that may hurt my wrist yet walk around alone at night? Maybe some things are “better safe than sorry” because they fit into my idea of convenience. maybe I want to fit into the culture. or maybe I just forget.


About gonnagotaghana

I am 21 years old, I am studying economics (and maybe something else) at the university of Calgary. I am going to Ghana to work on the AVC team with EWB. I like Ginger Beef
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